The other day I logged into MySpace to see if any of my favorite fellow writers were online, as I wanted to discuss my latest upcoming novel. However, I was kind of awkwardly surprised when I discovered a new friend request from, believe it or not, The Devil. That’s right, old Satan himself has now joined the ranks of millions of others and created his very own MySpace account.
Intrigued, I accepted his request, however I had ulterior motives for doing so. (God please forgive me, I wanted to find out what Beelzebub was up to). As soon as I accepted, The Devil sent me a message thanking me, I quickly responded back and invited Lucifer to chat for a moment. He gracefully accepted my invitation and the conversation went something like this:
“Good Morning your Evilness, I am just curious as to why you have joined MySpace.”
“Well recently,” he started “I have noticed an increase in the number of people joining me down here in my hot little home, we like to call Hades.”
“Really” I remarked, “and to what do you contribute the rise in your popularity?”
“Well, I polled several new arrivals and learned that a large majority of them had online businesses promoting products and services using minisites, article directories and optin lists.”
“That does not make sense, why would the souls of so many Internet marketers find their final resting-place in Hell?” I asked.
“Surprised me too” The Great Horned evil one replied, “so, I decided to do a little investigating and looked up some of their webpages.”
“And what is it you found” I curiously asked.
“What I found was that the overwhelming lot of them were lying, cheating and stealing people’s hard earned money with a bunch of ridiculous sales hype and unfathomable claims about some hokey product they were huckstering like snake oil salesman.”
“You mean like the guy who claims he made $300 million last year after he got $87 million in free ads from Google?”
“Yep, he joined me last week, I really envy his style, I wish I could tell stories as well as him. I have to admit these internet marketers are way more interesting than the loads of politicians I have been getting the last few years.”
“Okay,” I replied, “so why the sudden desire to join MySpace? After all, if these Internet Gurus are coming to you anyway, why do you need to join MySpace? And why the friend request to me?”
“Oh, I sent a friend request to everyone on here, even Tom, but he didn’t reply yet. The reason I joined MySpace was so that I could get to know my soon-to-be new residents before they arrive at their new home, here in Hell. I mean, I really got to keep them on track and make sure they do not get religion or anything and change their ways. I rather enjoy the surge in population here.”
“Well the best of luck to you” I said halfheartedly, “In a way it’s nice to know these so called Internet guru’s have a new friend that is on their level.”
“Yeah, and all the little devils here are having a ball with them. For fun, we keep promising them eternal wealth and luxurious comforts if they only click on our button, but every time they try to click, we move the button! LOL.”
With that, I logged off and quickly removed The Devil as my friend; I hope that I will not have another experience like that anytime soon!